I have enjoyed reading the responses to my questions about how faith helps us face the grief journey. I wish I could publish each one but space does not allow that and I do not have permission from every respondent. I can say that the responses were varied from faith not having much of a role to some folks experiencing the presence of their loved one in an almost physical experience.

From reading the responses, I did not get the sense that the ones who had the most vivid experiences were more spiritual or had deeper faith than the other folks. It seemed to simply prove that everyone relates to the spiritual side in a way that fits their personality. Nor did I feel that these experiences proved anything about the depth of love for the person nor the intensity of the pain. Some folks are more emotional than others. Some more sensitive to these experiences than or others but those of us who are not as emotional or sensitive do not hurt or love less in any way. 

Seems like I am using me as an example far too often in these posts especially in the five months since my wife died, but me is all I really know. I have been hit with a double whammy. I found out two weeks ago that I am losing my eyesight. Last Tuesday I had to make the decision to no longer drive my car. That is the decision no one ever wants to make. Suddenly all independence is gone. Spontaneity just died. I can’t go get a loaf of bread without planning for it like some event. It really hit hard. I was in a funk and not fit for human consumption for several days. 

I speak each Sunday at a small house church and the theme last week was faith. About mid week I began to struggle and wondered how in the world I could possibly talk about that subject at this time. I have far too many questions rumbling through my brain. I am a little ticked off about my eyes and more ticked off about how folks have tended to trivialize my loss while trying to encourage and cheer me up.

Lying in bed one morning in what I call prayer though I am not sure it qualifies as that, I was thinking about faith and the role it is suppose to play in our lives especially in times like this. It hit me that faith was really all I had left. 

When Barbara died I thought of our lives and while looking back I realized how blessed I had been in my life. I remember expressing those thoughts to God and then realizing that He had taken care of my life so wonderfully well so I could trust Him with my future as well. That does not mean it has always been rosy and trouble free, but it seemed to me that day that all things do work together for good. 

When the loss of sight hit, I had a few days to hold some pity parties and ask why, then I realized the only thing that could help me face the future was the realization that He had done such a great job with the past. That is all that I had left. I was at the end of my rope. All that was left was the realization that He had taken care of my yesterdays, so now I can trust Him with my tomorrows. Maybe that is the role of faith in grief. When we get to the end of our rope, faith ties a knot so we can hang on. 

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