 | Conflicting Emotions
Monday, July 12, 2010 | Last post we talked about loved ones who die leaving unfinished agendas. Parents and children who never get to work through the conflicts of childhood. People who die without our having a chance to settle old scores or deal with the hurts they... Read More
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| | Unfinished Agendas
Friday, July 02, 2010 | I remember a dear friend saying with deep sorrow in his voice that it looked as if his father would die before they could ever have a chance to work through the agendas and hurts that stood blocking any meaningful relationship between them. His father... Read More
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| | Why Did You Leave Me? Anger at a Spouse
Monday, June 14, 2010 | We have established the fact that there is anger in grief and that there should be anger in grief. I hope we have established that anger will find a place to focus. It is not enough to have feelings of anger, we must be angry at... Read More
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| | When You Are Angry With God
Thursday, June 10, 2010 | There is anger in grief and there should be. Anger is the natural response to hurt and grief is hurt on the major side. Some surveys rate the pain of grief as being one of the most devastating things that can happen to us. If someone hits us in the mouth the natural response is anger. When life hits us... Read More
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| | Facing the Special Days
Tuesday, April 13, 2010 | Since I started giving my email address I have been receiving more and more correspondence from readers and loving every minute of it. I am working to produce a chat room where we can meet at a set time each week and... Read More
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| | Grief and the Unblessed Child
Monday, February 08, 2010 | I am convinced that almost every family has at least one unblessed child. A child who for some reason does not feel they have ever met the parents expectations or measured up to the other children in the home. I am not referring to... Read More
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| | It is Hard to be Thankful with a Broken Heart
Monday, November 16, 2009 | Grief is a journey that must walk through a series of firsts. The first month after the death, the first birthday, first anniversary, even the first trip to the grocery store. All offer their own challenges and most are faced with some level of dread. Thanksgiving is fast approaching and for... Read More
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| | What If a Spouse Wants to Hide?
Tuesday, September 01, 2009 | Someone posted a comment to the blog titles IT TAKES HONESTY. Her plea is one I hear over and over. What do you do if your spouse refuses to deal with the grief? Far too often... Read More
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| | What Am I Supposed to Feel?
Monday, August 24, 2009 | All grief is complicated. There is no set pattern of feelings we are suppose to have nor any set pattern of healing we can expect to follow. Every person will grieve in a way that fits them, and every grieving experience will vary to fit the person who has died and the relationship each person had with that person. However, some grieving experiences... Read More
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| | We Need People, But Does Everyone Have to Know?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 | On the one hand, when we are in the depths of despair, nothing takes the place of friends. On the other hand we may wish we could carefully choose and even limit the number of people who know of our situation. Grief can leave us feeling like we are being . . . Read More
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| | When Feelings Pile Up
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 | The first time I heard the term "complicated grief" I almost scoffed at the term. Isn't all grief complicated? I worried that using the term might be insulting to some grieving people who might think we were saying some people’s grief hurts more than theirs. I still hesitate to use the term very much, but we need . . . Read More
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| | The Bottom Line
Monday, February 16, 2009 | A woman called my office and left a lengthy message on the answering machine. Her mother had just died and she was very upset. The message was so lengthy my office warned me to return the call when I had plenty of time to talk. Our office deals with . . . Read More
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| | The Price of Pressure
Monday, January 05, 2009 | Her husband died during the last year, following a year long battle with cancer. Her children are already pressuring her to be over it. They have become the parents and she is now the child being lectured . . . Read More
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| | When You Think the Unthinkable
Wednesday, November 19, 2008 | He sat in the isle seat on the second row of a conference on long term care. He looked to be in his early forties, and I still almost feel the intensity in his eyes as he locked on every word I said. At the end of a lengthy discussion period when the audience seemed to explode with their concerns, he began to speak . . . Read More
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| | Often It's the Little Things
Tuesday, October 14, 2008 | Sometimes it is the little things that hurt the most. The things so small we feel small even talking about them. The things so easily explained away, we never get to even finish describing them before they are dismissed. . . Read More
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| | The Price of Pressure
Thursday, July 24, 2008 | Her husband died during the last year following a year long battle with cancer. Her children are already pressuring her to be over it. They have become the parents and she is now the child being lectured on how she should feel after a few months of grief. That transition can be quite a shock and create resentment and reaction . . . Read More
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| | I Can't Help It
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 | I do not know any of the details, but I saw a microcosm of how we respond to pain as I left the super market the other day. A car was parked near the front door in one of the handicapped spaces. A gentleman was beside the car in a motorized wheel chair... Read More
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| | When Miracles Don't Happen
Monday, May 05, 2008 | "Why didn't the thousands of prayers offered by people from all over the country keep my husband from dying?" "Why did my son die? He was a wonderful young man who seemed to just want to help others and yet he died... Read More
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| | How Are You?
Monday, April 14, 2008 | It was her daughter's birthday. The fifth one since she died. Many of the people she meet that day had no idea that this was a special day, how much every birthday hurt, and how certain birthdays hurt...
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