 | The Forgotten Ones
Friday, May 21, 2010 | I remember some group finally allowing me to speak about the grief following a miscarriage or a stillbirth. That was a rare experience since most people consider this minor grief that passes rather quickly. At the end... Read More
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| | When No One Calls
Wednesday, April 07, 2010 | This was written as a response to the blog titled The Waves Of Grief.
My husband died 3 mos. ago after a long illness. At this point, I don't care about anything. I don't want to cook or get out of the house. Some days, I consider good days where I can function and socialize. Today, a wave of grief hit. I guess it has to do... Read More
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| | The Blooming Onion
Tuesday, March 30, 2010 | One of my favorite analogies of grief is that it is like peeling an onion; it comes off one layer at time and you cry a lot. That seems to sum it up about as well as anything I can imagine... Read More
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| | The Waves of Grief
Monday, March 01, 2010 | There are no adequate analogies that can describe the pain of grief, so any effort toward doing so tends to trivialize the pain which is the last thing I want to do. Nothing can describe the pain, yet we need to draw... Read More
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| | Unspoken Agendas
Tuesday, February 16, 2010 | She enmeshed her life in the life and work of her husband. She did so willingly because that is how she was raised. The role of a wife was to support her husband and give herself to her children. She did so... Read More
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| | I Should Be Better by Now
Monday, January 11, 2010 | It seems like I get bombarded by folks who think they should be doing better with their grief than they are. I get that all of the time, but it seems to increase four fold at this time of the year. The holidays always seem to bring a wave... Read More
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| | Grief and the Holidays
Friday, December 11, 2009 | The grief journey forces us to experience everything for the first time all over again. It becomes a series of firsts. The first time you laugh again when you really thought you never would feel like laughing again. The first time you... Read More
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| | This Fat Lady Never Sings
Wednesday, November 11, 2009 | I have observed for years that children grieve in segments related to their ages. If they lose a loved one when they are five, they work through the grief of a five year old. As they grow older then seem to pick it up... Read More
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| | When the Heart Surrenders
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 | I have a wonderful friend named Paula Loring whom I consider to be the best leader of grief groups I know. She has a wonderful outline of the grieving process that I borrow from time to time... Read More
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| | A Cut Finger
Monday, October 05, 2009 | I hope some of you read the comment to a recent blog written by a very sweet woman who read one of my books several years ago when her husband was killed in a car wreck. Talk about someone raining on my desert, she had some things to say... Read More
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| | Deciding to Live Again
Monday, September 21, 2009 | There is no “cure” for grief. It is not something we get over and done with. A chunk has been bitten from your heart and it will not grow back. As I have said in these blogs, the best we can hope for is that the terrible pain you feel now will one day... Read More
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| | When a Baby Dies at Birth
Thursday, June 04, 2009 | Our grandson Isaac was born on Christmas Eve and died on Christmas day. He only lived on earth for thirty-four hours. He has lived and will live in our hearts as long as we live. For thirty-three of the hours he lived, no one could . . . Read More
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| | When Even Joy is Scary
Monday, April 13, 2009 | She has a new grandson, born a few days ago and healthy in every way. She has been deeply involved in the life of her first grandson and now her son and daughter-in-law have added a brand new joy in her life. She could not be more pleased, but . . . Read More
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| | When There is No One to Blame
Tuesday, March 24, 2009 | When there is no one to blame, you tend to blame yourself. A couple volunteered to drive me to an airport some ninety miles from where I was speaking. Their 24 year old daughter had died of suicide and they wanted to talk. For the first hour . . . Read More
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| | Defining Grief
Monday, February 09, 2009 | We throw the word around so often in so many differing settings that perhaps a short thought about what grief really is might prove helpful. My definition of grief is . . . Read More
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| | The Dimensions of Grief
Monday, December 29, 2008 | When I first started writing and speaking about grief, I was often asked which was the worst kind of grieving experience. My answer then was that grief only came in one size, extra large. It just hurts as much as it can hurt no matter the type of experience. In a way that . . . Read More
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| | A Series of Firsts
Monday, November 17, 2008 | I wrote a long time friend a letter today. The holiday seasons are approaching and her husband died earlier this year. It is far too soon after his death for her to know about grief and the holidays. She is already feeling a great deal . . . Read More
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| | Peeling an Onion Part 4: Reconstruction
Monday, September 29, 2008 | I call the last layer of the onion, reconstruction. I once called it recovery, but grief is not some disease we recover from. Grief never goes away completely. A chunk has been bitten our of our hearts and it will not grow back. We turn the corner in the way we cope, but the loss . . . Read More
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| | Peeling An Onion Part 3: A Time to React
Wednesday, August 20, 2008 | Grief is like peeling and onion, it comes off one layer at a time and you cry a lot. That is my favorite analogy of grief. I have talked about the first two layers in previous blogs . . . Read More
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| | Waiting for a Rainbow
Monday, June 16, 2008 | It seems to me that we hit bottom in our grief and then find something within ourselves to start us clawing our way back to toward the surface. I think the driving force for this turn varies with every individual... Read More
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| | Peeling An Onion Part 2: When the Whirling Stops
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 | The first part of grief is a whirling cloud of emotions, pain, fears, and utter disbelief that leaves us feeling like we are in the eye of a hurricane waiting for the winds we know are coming and hoping we can survive. Unfortunately, the times does come when the whirling stops and reality lands to take over our entire being... Read More
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| | Peeling an Onion Part 1: The Whirl
Thursday, May 01, 2008 | "I feel like I am in the eye of a hurricane, no movement, but everything and everybody is whirling around me in my quiet empty space." I have no words to explain the first part of the grieving process any better than that... Read More
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| | Continuing The Journey
Monday, April 07, 2008 | In an earlier blog titled The Journey Of Grief I described grief as a journey from having your loved one right in front of your face, to their presence being more in the heart and in memories...
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