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Doug’s Blog on Grief

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The pain of grief maybe the most shocking part of the experience. We expect sadness, and loneliness but physical pain? searing pain? pain that feels like something broke off inside of us and is poking holes in every organ there? Yes, and its presence does not mean you are not doing well or will never feel alive again. Today we deal with the pain.


Note: Click on the blue button of each category to find all of the articles, past and present,  for that specific category.

Current  Archive  
The Questions of GriefI Had No Idea It Hurt Like This
Tuesday, October 07, 2008 
A friend called this week to tell me his wife had died. She was a very vivacious young mother who died after a long struggle with cancer. He, of course, had seen the end coming for months and thought he had already done most of his grieving ahead of time. We keep thinking grief can be handled before the fact . . . Read More
    
The Journey of GriefPeeling an Onion Part 4: Reconstruction
Monday, September 29, 2008 
I call the last layer of the onion, reconstruction. I once called it recovery, but grief is not some disease we recover from. Grief never goes away completely. A chunk has been bitten our of our hearts and it will not grow back. We turn the corner in the way we cope, but the loss . . . Read More
    
The Needs of GriefYou Never Outgrow the Need for a Safe Place
Thursday, September 25, 2008 
We don't get open criticism, just hints and suggestions. Her daughter was murdered seven years ago and we still meet as regularly as our schedules will allow. We started meeting in a grief recovery mode some would call counseling. I don’t use that term. It sounds as if the people I deal with are . . . Read More
    
The Mysteries of GriefGrief's Bottom Line
Monday, September 08, 2008 
His son died in his sleep for no known reason. He was here one moment and then he was gone. The family are devout in their faith and, as a result of the suddenness of the death and the deep belief system within the family, the father has become almost obsessed with whether or not his son is in heaven. . . Read More
    
The Challenges of GriefThe Price of Pressure
Thursday, July 24, 2008 
Her husband died during the last year following a year long battle with cancer. Her children are already pressuring her to be over it. They have become the parents and she is now the child being lectured on how she should feel after a few months of grief. That transition can be quite a shock and create resentment and reaction . . . Read More
    
The Impact of GriefGrieving What You Never Had
Monday, July 07, 2008 
A nun left a voice message saying her ninety-nine year old mother had died recently. She seemed rather upset so when I called her back I was fully prepared to hear how no one would allow her to grieve. Since her mother had lived so long, most people would think she should be glad she had her for such a long life, and not be shocked by her death. I was fully prepared to give her permission to grieve. I was shocked by what I heard . . . Read More
    
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