When we walk a new and scary road, nothing feels better than discovering someone who has already walked it. That means we too can survive the journey

When we do not know what we are supposed to feel and wonder if we have lost our minds, nothing is more reassuring than the discovery that someone else felt those same feelings and thought those same thoughts. That means we are normal.

I think my calling in life is to run around proving to people that they are normal. Most of us don’t think we are. Most of us think we have thoughts running around in our heads that we dare not let anyone know about for fear they would take us to the funny farm and throw away the key.

Most of us have feelings we are sure border on the weird and are convinced no one else ever felt like that.

This is especially true when we are faced with the long term care of an aging loved one. Who knows what we are supposed to feel? Who can explain what thoughts should be rumbling through our heads? 

Add the fact that the loved one is dealing with Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia and the doubts about our own sanity are more than doubled.

I have some good news. It is not our practice to use this space to sell our products, but I want to go outside the norm and tell you about a book that I think will help anyone walking the lonesome trail of care giving a loved one with Alzheimer’s.

The book is called Please Take Me Home Before Dark, beautifully written by Billie Pate with assistance from her sister Mary Pate Varnell. Billie Pate writes a blog for The Care Community. The two of them walked the Alzheimer’s journey and have written the story so others will know they are normal and they can survive. They include some wonderful poetry at the beginning of each chapter which I find to be most helpful. May I quote one that is my favorite?

When you no longer understand our language

We will try to grasp yours

We will cherish the fleeting signs of 

Knowing in your eyes

Your soft smile tells us

You have not yet gone

When you try to tell us something

And you sense your words are wrong

We will listen with our hearts

And try to help you reach your thought

And when you beg to go home

We will hold you in our arms

And search for the safe place

Where your heart is

And when you no longer understand

What you see or hear or read

We will discover ways

To build bridges to your new reality

-Billie Pate

These beautiful words are available in Please Take Me Home Before Dark on the resources page. Read them and fell normal.

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Doug invites you to log in and post comments at the end of each blog entry. He looks forward to hearing from you. Any of Doug's books, CDs or DVDs are available at www.InSightBooks.com.