 | She Can't Give Up Yet
Tuesday, November 01, 2011 | Her husband must leave the hospital, and there is no way she can care for him at home. She has been the caregiver in the home for a few years since he first became ill, and then he fainted and fell. After some time in the hospital he was transferred... Read More
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| | Realistic Expectations
Monday, September 26, 2011 | I was in for a shock when I began my experiences with care facilities. I thought they were miniature hospitals with nurses in track shoes just waiting for a call button to ring so they could run to the room and take care of my loved ones every need... Read More
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| | The Sandwich Generation
Wednesday, July 20, 2011 | My parents married much later in life than I did. The depression meant people married when and if they found a way to make a living. My father was thirty-two when I was born. He was fifty-three when I married. This means it works out for my generation that just about the time our children leave for college we began facing the care of our parents...
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| | When?
Friday, March 25, 2011 | I met her in a casual conversation as we waited for hair cuts. Her husband is ninety years old and has dementia. She realizes the day will come when she can no longer take care of him in the home. She even realizes that day actually came a few years ago . . . Read More
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| | Misery in Paradise
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 | My parents moved to a retirement facility in the city where we lived. They made the decision themselves with almost no input from my wife or me. They recognized the need to be near family and... Read More
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| | Being the Bad Guy
Monday, May 10, 2010 | The following is a comment posted after one of our blogs. I wanted to respond here in order to have more space to write and because I felt like her letter would resonate with many others facing similar experiences... Read More
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| | Socks, How to Solve Problems
Tuesday, February 02, 2010 | Strange title based on the fact that lost socks are one of the problems nursing home administers hear about. It may not be just socks, it can be other items of clothing or things gone missing from rooms. It seems like every care facility... Read More
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| | The Grief of Displacement
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 | They may never share it or show it, but I don’t think anyone becomes a resident in a care facility without experiencing some grief. That is not a slam at care facilities. That is just the recognition that any life transition... Read More
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| | A Scattered Society
Monday, January 01, 0001 | Did we create nursing homes because we stopped loving our parents and aging loved ones? It may look like we did or at least like we do not love as much as past generations. Where once we took parents into the home and cared for them for the rest of their lives, now it may seem like we look for any other alternative we can find. It may . . . Read More
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| | Socialization
Monday, January 01, 0001 | I do not tell mother-in-law jokes. I had a wonderful one so none of the jokes resonate with me. She was a short lady with a great sense of humor and a magnificent laugh. One of her favorite statements was "Behind every successful man stands . . . Read More
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| | The Pattern
Monday, January 01, 0001 | I have been corresponding with a friend primarily about her grief journey which is being compounded and interfered with by a mother who is showing strong signs of dementia. I only mention her case because the situation is typical of... Read More
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| | Why No One Comes to Visit
Monday, January 01, 0001 | Families search for the nicest settings and best care possible when a loved one needs the care that can only be given in a care facility. The surroundings certainly matter and the importance of the care cannot be over emphasized. The best location and the best of care does not replace the need for contact with family and friends. . . Read More
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| | When Everyone Knows What You Should Do
Monday, January 01, 0001 | I just had a phone call from a woman thanking me for walking with her though the placement of her mother in a care facility. Her mother is gradually making the adjustment although dementia makes it hard to really know what she thinks. The important thing . . . Read More
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| | Defining Our Roles
Monday, January 01, 0001 | On the one hand, nursing homes are not dumping grounds where we can leave a loved one and wash our hands of all care beyond writing the checks and complaining about any failures we might find. On the other hand . . . Read More
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| | Response
Monday, January 01, 0001 | It is always a thrill when someone responds to one of my bogs. My hope for the site is that it will become a forum for people to share their experiences and ideas. If something works for you, the rest . . . Read More
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| | Quick Decisions - Quick Regrets
Monday, January 01, 0001 | I have been walking with a couple through the husband's stay in the hospital, then in extended care for physical therapy, and now in a nursing home where neither are happy... Read More
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| | Momma Wants to Die
Monday, January 01, 0001 | I just answered a rather desperate email from a baby boomer whose ninety year old mother must be placed in a care facility. The mother suffered a broken hip in a fall and cannot walk alone even with a walker. She cannot dress herself, or do any of the other task necessary to living in her own home. . . Read More
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| | How to Choose a Nursing Home
Monday, January 01, 0001 | The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has just published an new rating system for nursing homes that they hope will make choosing a facility simpler and easier to understand. The system consist of awarding stars . . . Read More
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| | When a Mate Needs Care
Monday, January 01, 0001 | Somewhere in Tennessee I watched a man meticulously clean the teeth of his comatose wife. The staff told me he did that for hours each day and had almost worn her teeth away with the cleaning. They thought it was a senseless act of a demented old man. I thought it was a beautiful scene of a man who had cared for his wife so long he had no idea how to stop . . . Read More
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